Kay's story

Over the years, Rethink have supported me and my son Steven, who was diagnosed with schizophrenia when he was 19 years old. Steven’s now 58 – and I’m in my 80s. I’m still caring for him today.  

Steven has always been a kind, gentle, sensitive person, and incredibly generous. He was a quiet boy at school, and he certainly wasn’t a difficult teenager. But when a schizophrenic episode came on, he’d be completely unrecognisable.  

Living with him was like living on edge from one week to the next – I wouldn’t know when he might have an episode. He started getting high, and developed a religious mania, which frightened me.  

There were times he wouldn’t shower because he thought there was someone hiding behind the shower curtain with a knife. I offered to go into the bathroom with him, but he said he was afraid the person would attack me too. It was horrendous. 

Back in the 1980s, they were still called The National Schizophrenia Fellowship and people weren’t as au fait with mental illness. There used to be so much prejudice, and the word ‘schizophrenia’ scared many people.  

Rethink helped me understand all about Steven’s diagnosis. I’d never come across mental illness and didn’t know other people had the same experiences I had. Knowing other people were in the same boat as me and had the same problems, I felt less alone. It gave me hope.  

Without Rethink, I wouldn’t have had anyone. I would have been completely lost.  

Their magazines and publications helped me find my way through mental illness, offering support and suggesting books to help me understand Steven’s schizophrenia. And it was Rethink who helped change both our lives completely.  

They published an article on a wonderful drug used to treat schizophrenia in the United States. Many doctors over here hadn’t heard of it – but with the help of Rethink’s article, I persuaded Steven’s doctors to allow him to try this drug.  

It worked straight away. You wouldn’t have recognised Steven from the person he was during an episode – he was my Stevie again. Without the drug, I’m sure he would have been locked up for life. Thanks to Rethink, we are still together. 

It was an easy decision for me to leave a gift to Rethink in my Will because I wouldn’t have coped without them. And if my gift helps just one other person, it will be worth it. Whether that’s through carer support groups, Crisis Houses in the community or help and advice – anything will help.  

Steven and I have benefited from Rethink’s support for nearly 40 years now, and I want to make sure that in the years to come, there’s more support for families with recently diagnosed children. Rethink gave me hope, understanding and somewhere to turn – and now I want to give something back for the future.