“I’m now ready to run a marathon for Rethink” – Daniel’s story

A stock photo has been used on this blog at the request of the author. 

Trigger warning: restraint, forced medication

Daniel shares his journey with schizoaffective disorder. He reflects on his symptoms, using Rethink Mental Illness’ helpline and various other support. He has recently taken part in Chester Marathon to fundraise for our charity.

I first experienced severe depression and psychosis when I was 15, although I didn’t know what it was then. I became very sad and stopped speaking at school. I thought people hated me, then started to think the Chinese government were after me; that my body had been coated in diamond to stop me getting away. This got worse until I lost all touch with reality. I was later given a diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder-depressive type.

My parents phoned an ambulance. There were no beds so I was taken to the children’s hospital and ran away. The police found me and handcuffed me behind my back. I remember being dragged up the stairs into the hospital.

I thought my parents had been killed. When I ate food, I thought I was being fed dead bodies. The nurses restrained and injected me. I had a reaction to the medication and couldn’t move at all for hours on end.

I spent several months in the adolescent unit and kept trying to escape a lot at first. I went back to school but still struggled with self-harm and suicide attempts. I felt very anxious all the time. 

One attempt led to me nearly dying from liver failure, which led to me getting more help. I had a lot of counselling and made some new friends. I responded well to medication, although I felt very drowsy and used to sleep a lot.

I went to university and got a degree. Whilst at university, I had another relapse and my psychiatrist increased my medication. I continued to have real issues with anxiety, get very giddy or experience high moods at times. However, whilst at university I found mediation and Buddhism. I also had more counselling and friends I could talk to, as well as my parents.

I became a health professional and worked with people in distress on an acute ward. This was a very stressful job, for most people but particularly for me. I had a bad relapse a few years ago and got a lot of support from crisis services. As part of my work, I led a project to improve the physical health of people with first episode psychosis and we worked with Rethink Mental Illness.

I used to be very bad about saying when I was anxious and didn’t like to get any help, particularly at work. After my last relapse something clicked - I knew I had to understand my relapse signature and ensure reasonable adjustments were made.

The most helpful intervention was from my GP who listened to me and kept changing my medication doses until they were right. I go to my severe mental illness annual health check every year. I also phoned the Rethink Helpline and it was great to know I could have someone to speak to out of hours.

I’ve always had an interest in running, but never stuck to it. 18 months ago, I joined a weight loss programme and gradually built up my running so I didn’t get injured. I lost weight and I’m now ready to run a marathon for Rethink.

There is no cure for my condition but I take my medication religiously and say when I need help. I’m now happily married, a manager in the NHS and love travelling, as well as photography. I don’t know what the future holds, but I know that the most important thing is to keep hope. I’m fundraising with Rethink to keep campaigning for better mental health help and support. 

If Daniel’s story has inspired you, you can sign up to fundraise for Rethink Mental Illness at the London Landmarks Half Marathon in 2025.