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Suicidal thoughts - How to support someone
Signs, help, and support
This information looks at why someone might have suicidal thoughts, feelings, or intentions. It gives advice on how you can support them when they are feeling that way. It also looks at support for you. This information is for people supporting an 18+ adult in England who is experiencing suicidal thoughts.
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Frequently Asked Q's
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- People have suicidal thoughts for different reasons.
- If you are worried that someone may be having suicidal thoughts, you can talk to them. You can ask them how they are feeling.
- Talking to someone about their suicidal thoughts does not usually make them more likely to end their life.
- You can help someone who is feeling suicidal by listening, without judging them.
- You can support someone to think about other options to deal with their feelings. Such as accessing support from the NHS, charities, or self-help.
- If someone is in crisis, you can help them to get support from mental health or emergency services.
- Supporting someone with suicidal thoughts might have an impact on you, so it might help you to get support.
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There are different reasons why people have suicidal thoughts.
If someone is exposed to a risk factor, they are more likely to have them. A risk factor might include:- A previous suicide attempt
- A family history of suicide
- Difficult life events, such as experiencing a traumatic childhood or physical or emotional abuse
- Stressful life events like a relationship ending or losing your job
- Feeling hopeless
- Feeling isolated or not having social support
- Acute emotional distress
- Excessive use of drugs or alcohol
- Living with a mental health condition
- Having a physical health condition, especially if this causes chronic pain or serious disability
- Problems with work or money
- Anger at other people
The more risk factors a person has, the more likely they will have suicidal thoughts.
People are more likely to take their own life if they have access to the means to do so. -
There are lots of reasons why someone might think about ending their life. Some reasons are to:
- escape what they feel is an impossible situation,
- end unbearable thoughts or feelings, or
- end physical pain or incapacity.
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When someone has suicidal thoughts, they might think things like:
- I have let myself and other people down
- I am a burden
- I am a failure
- No one needs me
- I am not good enough
- There is no point in living
- I will never find a way out of my problem
- I cannot bear this pain
- I have lost everything
- I am useless
- Things will never get better for me
- Nobody cares about me
- I will show them what they have done to me
- If I die, it is the best for everyone
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Some studies suggest there can sometimes be a link between suicidal thoughts and:
- taking psychiatric medication, or
- withdrawing from it.
Overall, the benefit of psychiatric medication usually outweighs the risk of suicidal thoughts. But medical professionals should think about the risks before prescribing medication and when you are withdrawing from it.
The use of antidepressants is not usually recommended in children and young people under the age of 18. This is because there is evidence that, in rare cases, they can trigger thoughts about suicide and self-harm in this age group.
Someone you know might start to have suicidal thoughts after starting taking or withdrawing from psychiatric medication. If they do, suggest they urgently contact their GP or psychiatrist for advice.
On our following webpages you can find more information about: -
A change in someone’s personality or behaviour might be a sign that they are having suicidal thoughts. You may be the best judge of when someone you know is behaving differently.
Changes can include:- Becoming anxious or restless
- Being more irritable or agitated
- Being more confrontational or angry
- Becoming quiet and distant
- Having mood swings
- Acting recklessly, such as taking risks they would not normally
- Sleeping too much or too little
- A lack of energy
- Not wanting to be around other people
- Avoiding contact with friends and family
- Saying they feel hopeless or worthless
- Saying they cannot see a way out of a difficult situation
- Finding it hard to cope with daily issues
- Having problems with work or studying
- Saying negative things about themselves
But these changes in personality or behaviour do not always mean someone is experiencing suicidal thoughts.
The following things could indicate that someone is thinking of attempting suicide:- Threatening to hurt or kill themselves
- Talking or writing about death, dying or suicide
- Saying goodbye or sending messages that feel like an ending
- Preparing or making plans to end their life, such as storing up medication
- Putting their affairs in order, such as giving away belongings or making a will
Sometimes, signs that something is wrong can be more difficult to spot. Like cheeriness which may seem fake to you. Or they may joke about their emotions, such as saying something quite alarming that is disguised as a joke.
There are things you can do if:- You are worried about someone, but they will not talk about how they are feeling, or
- someone tells you they are having suicidal thoughts.
It is best to take action if:
- your gut feeling is that someone is having suicidal thoughts, or
- they are experiencing mental health issues, and you are worried about them.
See How can I help someone who is having suicidal thoughts? below for more information.
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People living with a mental illness are more likely to feel suicidal and attempt suicide.
Research shows that someone is more likely to attempt suicide if they have recently been discharged from a mental health facility.
Is there a link between self-harm and suicide?Self-harm means that someone harms themselves on purpose. Self-harm is not a mental health condition, but it is often linked to mental distress.
Someone who self-harms does not usually want to die. They may self-harm to deal with life, rather than as a way of trying to end it.
But people who self-harm are more likely to die through suicide.
On our webpage you can find more information about Self-harm. -
If you think that someone might be having suicidal thoughts, you can encourage them to talk about how they are feeling.
You might feel uncomfortable talking about suicidal feelings. You might not know what to say. This is entirely normal and understandable. It might help to:- Let them know that you care about them and that they are not alone.
- Empathise with them. Be aware you do not know exactly how they feel. You could say something like, ‘I cannot imagine how painful this is for you, but I would like to try to understand.’
- Ask them if they have a plan for ending their life and what it is.
- Be non-judgemental by trying not to criticise or blame them.
- Repeat their words back to them in your own words. This shows that you are listening.
- Repeating information can also make sure that you have understood it properly.
- Ask about their reasons for living and dying and listen to their answers. Try to explore their reasons for living in more detail.
- Focus on people they care about, and who care about them. And who they might hurt by leaving them behind.
- Ask if they have felt like this before. If so, ask how their feelings changed last time.
- Reassure them that they will not feel this way forever, and that intensity of feelings can reduce in time.
- Encourage them to focus on getting through the day rather than focusing on the future.
- Help them to get professional help. See What services can help someone who is having suicidal thoughts? below, for more information.
- Encourage them to seek help that they are comfortable with. Such as help from a doctor or counsellor, or support through a charity such as the Samaritans - phone 116 123.
- Follow up any commitments that you agree to.
- Make sure someone is with them if they are in immediate danger.
Getting support for yourself is important too. See How can I get support for myself? below for more information.
If you are unsure if someone is having suicidal thoughts, you can ask:- Are you thinking about suicide?
- Are you having thoughts of ending your life?
- Are you thinking about killing yourself?
If can often be better to ask direct questions rather than vague ones. It is usually better to address the person’s feelings directly rather than avoiding them. Asking someone about suicide does not usually mean that they are more likely to kill themselves. And it might be a relief to them to talk about it.
Remember that you do not need to find an answer, or even to completely understand why they feel the way they do. Listening to what they have to say will at least let them know you care.
If they are not ready to talk, you can say you are there for them if they want to later. But showing that you are there for them can be helpful. -
If someone tells you that they are feeling suicidal, the following responses are likely to be unhelpful:
- Tell them to ‘cheer up’, ‘pull themselves together’, ‘man up’ or ‘snap out of it’.
- Change the subject.
- Give them advice.
- Ask questions unrelated to how they are feeling, to distract them.
- Tell them that they have no reason to feel like that.
- Tell them that they should not feel like that, or they will feel better soon.
- Downplay the seriousness of how they are feeling.
- Compare their situation to someone’s whose seems worse.
- Tell them you know how they feel.
- Compare their feelings to your own personal experiences.
- Tell them that they should be grateful for having a good life.
- Tell them that are are being silly.
The responses above may make someone feel:
- small or insignificant,
- stupid for feeling the way they do,
- rejected,
- unheard,
- alone,
- like no one understands,
- guilty,
- patronised,
- criticised, or
- analysed.
Reassurance, respect, and support can help someone to recover from a difficult time.
You can find more suggestions of how to support someone on the Mental Health UK website here: https://mentalhealth-uk.org/suicide -
Talking about suicide can sometimes be a plea for help. But do not assume that someone will not attempt to take their own life if they talk about suicide. Always take suicidal feelings seriously.
You may talk to someone about their feelings, and it seems as though they want to end their life soon. Try to keep them safe in the short term.How do I keep them safe?
You can help them by:
- Not leaving them on their own.
- Talking to them. See How can I help someone who is having suicidal thoughts? above for more information.
- Seeking professional help. See What services can help someone who is having suicidal thoughts? below, for more information.
- Removing items that they can end their life with. Examples include:
- sharp objects such as razor blades and knives,
- cleaning products,
- drugs or medication, and
- belts, cords, wires, and rope. - Helping them to create a crisis plan. See What is a crisis plan? below for more information.
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A crisis plan is sometimes called a safety plan. Ideally a crisis plan should be made before someone is in crisis, but it is never too late to start.
If someone is being supported by a NHS mental health team, they might already have a crisis plan in place. You can ask them to show you their crisis plan if they have one. But it is their choice whether to show you.
The aim of a crisis plan is to think about what support someone needs when they are in crisis. This may include:
- not being alone,
- removing certain objects from the home,
- talking to a certain person or helpline,
- talking to a professional,
- distraction techniques, and
- including reasons to live, such as pictures of family.
Distraction techniques can include:
- Read a book or magazine
- Watch a film or TV
- Go to a museum
- Walk in a green space like a park
- Draw or paint
- Listen to music
- Sing
- Listen to nature
- Spend time with a pet
Remember to write down the names and contact details of people who can help them.
There is no set way for how a crisis plan should look. There is a crisis plan template at the end of this information.
You may find it useful to have your own copy of their crisis plan. So, you know what to do to help them if they are in crisis.
You can find a crisis plan for you to use on Mind's website.
On our following webpages you can find more information about: -
People who have suicidal thoughts can experience them differently. Some might actively be planning to end their lives. Others might have the thoughts without planning to act on them.
There are different options for professional support, depending on the situation of the person experiencing suicidal thoughts. There is information on these options below.
If you think their life is in danger, you should act immediately. A mental health emergency should be taken as seriously as a physical one. You will not be wasting anyone’s time.
Emergency services and accident and emergency (A&E)
If someone is in immediate danger of taking their own life you can:
- call emergency services on 999 to ask for an
- ambulance, or
- take them to A&E at their local hospital.
Paramedic and hospital staff will decide on the best support for them. This might be things like support in the community from an NHS crisis team or admission to hospital.
NHS 111 for urgent mental health support
For urgent mental health support your loved one can call NHS 111 or visit the NHS 111 mental health webpage.
Your loved one will need to answer some questions. The NHS will refer them to an appropriate service or tell them what to do next.
You can also call for advice and support for your loved one.The phone line is available 24 hours a day 7 days a week.
NHS crisis team
NHS crisis teams give short term support for people having a mental health crisis. They are sometimes called the home treatment team.
They try and prevent people from needing to go to hospital and should be available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.You usually need a medical professional to refer someone to the NHS crisis team. Such as the person’s GP or someone from the NHS 111 urgent mental health helpline.
If they have been supported by the crisis team before, they might be able to contact them directly for support.NHS community mental health team (CMHT)
If a person is with their local NHS CMHT, they might be able to get help from them. They can contact their care coordinator, normal point of contact or whoever is on duty that day.
Your GP
The person’s GP might be able to offer an emergency appointment and support. Or the surgery might have trained mental health workers who can help.
If the person is refusing to seek help, you may want to let their GP know your concerns. Professionals might need to share the information you give with your relative. If you do not want this, you can explain to the professionals how it might affect your relationship.
On our following web pages you can find more information about:- GPs and your mental health
- Confidentiality, information and your loved one - For loved ones of people living with mental illness
Crisis or recovery house
Crisis or recovery houses provide short-term accommodation where staff support people who are having a mental health crisis.
These services are not provided in every area. But you can ask the NHS 111 urgent mental health line about them. Or you can search online, typing in ‘crisis house [location]’.
You usually need to be referred by an NHS mental health or social services professional.
Some areas might have drop-in sanctuaries, safe havens or crisis cafes as a supportive place for someone to go during a crisis. You can search online to see if there are any in your local area.NHS 24/7 neighbourhood mental health centres
You might be able to get mental health support from an NHS neighbourhood mental health centres. They are available 24 hours per day, 7 days a week. You can just walk in and no referral or appointment is needed.
When we last updated this content in 2025 these centres were only available in some parts of England.
The centres bring together a range of community mental health services under one roof. These services include crisis services, community mental health services, and short-stay beds. You might also be able to get help from local authority or voluntary, faith, and community organisations.
To find out if there is a NHS neighbourhood mental health centres in your area you can:- search on the Internet, or
- call NHS 111.
Emotional support helplines
Emotional support services help by listening to someone’s concerns and giving them space and time to talk through how they feel. They are not the same as counselling services, but staff are trained skilled listeners.
You can find details of emotional support lines on our following webpage: I want to talk to someone about how I am feeling.
NHS talking therapy services
NHS talking therapy services provide talking therapies, group support, and online tools. You can self-refer to your local service. If the service thinks it’s necessary, they might recommend that you be referred to a specialist NHS mental health team.
If the person you care for does not need urgent support, they might be a service that can help them.
You can find your local NHS talking therapy service by calling NHS 111 or searching on their website.
On our webpage you can find more information about Talking therapies.
For the following pages you can find out more information about: -
If you know someone who talks about suicide or has attempted it, you might feel a mix of emotions. Such as feeling upset, frustrated, confused, guilty, angry or scared. These are all normal responses.
Supporting a person who has suicidal thoughts can be emotionally draining, so you might need support yourself. You could try the following.
- Talk to friends and family.
- Talk to an emotional support helpline. You can find details of emotional support lines at I want to talk to someone about how I am feeling.
- Talk to your GP about medication or talking therapies for yourself.
- Talk to your local social services about a carer’s assessment.
- Join a carers service. They are free and available in most areas. You can look on the following websites Carers UK and Carers Trust.
- Join a carers support group for emotional and practical support. Or set up your own.
- Join online support forums and groups.
- Join or lead on a campaign. Sometimes it can be helpful to connect with others and be involved in something that makes positive change. For example, Samaritans run suicide prevention campaigns.
- Take some time to concentrate on yourself.
What is a carer’s assessment?
You have a right to have a carer’s assessment through the local authority if you need support as a carer. A carer’s assessment will work out what effect your caring role is having on your health. And what support you need, such as practical support and emergency support. You might get support from social services if you meet the eligibility criteria.
To get a carer’s assessment you need to contact the local authority of the person you support.
It’s common for people to not consider themselves to be a carer. If you give someone lots of support, such as emotional or practical support, you are a carer.
On our webpage you can find more information about Carer’s assessments – Under the Care Act 2014.How do I get support from my peers?
You can get peer support through carer support services or carers groups. You can search for local groups in your area on the internet. Here you can find all Rethink Mental Illness peer support groups.
On our following webpages you can find out more about:- Supporting someone with a mental illness
- Getting help for someone in a mental health crisis
- Responding to unusual behaviour linked to mental illness
- Carer’s assessments – Under the Care Act 2014
- Confidentiality, information and your loved one
- Worried about someone’s mental health
- Stress – How to cope
- GPs and your mental health
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Stay Alive App
The Stay Alive app is a pocket suicide prevention resource for the UK, which includes useful information to help you stay safe. You can use it if you are having thoughts of suicide or if you are concerned about someone else who may be considering suicide.
In addition to the resources, the app includes a safety plan, customisable reasons for living, and a life box where you can store photos that are important to you.
Website: https://prevent-suicide.org.uk/find-help-now/stay-alive-appMental Health UK
Resources and information about suicide for friends and family.
Website: https://mentalhealth-uk.org/suicideUK National Suicidal Prevention Strategy
Research publication about suicide prevention in the UK.
Website: https://researchbriefings.files.parliament.uk/documents/CBP-8221/CBP-8221.pdf
Royal College of Psychiatrists’ Suicidal Prevention National Transformation Programme
NHS England’s multi-agency programme for suicide prevention across 37 areas in England. To reduce deaths by suicide by 10% by 2020/21.
Website: www.rcpsych.ac.uk/improving-care/nccmh/national-suicide-prevention-programmeNational Suicidal Prevention Alliance (NSPA)
An alliance of over 1,000 public, private, voluntary, and community organisations working to prevent suicide in England.
Website: https://nspa.org.uk -
Samaritans
The Samaritans give people confidential emotional support. In some areas they have local branches where you can go for support.
Phone: 116 123. UK. 24 hours, 7 days a week.
Address: PO Box RSRB-KKBY-CYJK, P.O. Box 90 90, Stirling FK8 2SA
Email: jo@samaritans.org
Website: www.samaritans.orgFor contact details of other emotional support lines click on I want to talk to someone about how I am feeling.
Maytree – Sanctuary for the suicidal in London
Maytree provide a unique residential service for people in suicidal crisis in London. They have a limited number of residential places. You need to be referred by an organisation.
Phone: 020 7263 7070
Address: 72 Moray Road, Finsbury Park, London, N4 3LG
Email: maytree@maytree.org.uk
Website: www.maytree.org.uk
Mental Health Matters
Charity that provides crisis safe havens and support hubs in some areas. Their crisis services offer free emotional, social, and practical mental health support in a welcoming, comfortable, non-judgmental, and non-clinical environment.
Website: www.mhm.org.uk/Pages/Category/crisis-support
We would love to know if this information helped you or if you found any issues with this page. You can email us at feedback@rethink.org.This email address is only for those who want to give feedback on any of our advice and information pages. If you want to contact us about anything else, see our contact us page.
You can read more about how we produce our advice pages.
© Rethink Mental Illness 2026
Last updated August 2025
Next update August 2028, subject to any changes
Version number 8
