“I became convinced that I had a very serious illness” – Izzy’s story

After accessing Rethink Mental Illness’ Advice and Information Service, Izzy discovered she had health anxiety. Learning more about her condition and managing it through art has given her the peace to move forward.

At the start of 2017, when I was in my early 30s, I began to experience strange physical symptoms: achy, tired legs and arms, unsteadiness, a stiff neck and jaw. While I knew quite a lot about anxiety, health anxiety itself was new to me. I’d never have imagined that anxiety could produce or worsen physical symptoms.

When anxiety was suggested as a cause, I thought that just wasn't possible. Instead, I became convinced that I had a very serious, terminal illness. I felt the GPs weren't listening to me. Even when they told me they weren't concerned about my symptoms, I struggled to believe them. I thought they should be referring me to hospital, but no referrals came. This dragged on for three or four months, in utter panic.

Then I became busier when my Mum had an operation and needed more support. With less time for overthinking, slowly, imperceptibly, life started to open up again and my symptoms lessened. At first it felt very fragile, but gradually I started to trust that I really was well.

Having experienced such dreadful anxiety set me thinking a lot more about wellbeing and mental health. As I learned more about mental health, online resources like Rethink Mental Illness' website and Facebook page were very helpful.

The Rethink website's information on anxiety disorders helped me to understand more about how varied anxiety can be and the different forms it can take. Health anxiety was something I discovered. Learning more about this was useful, as I thought back on what had happened to me and how it receded. Rethink showed me just how complex mental health can be and that I was very far from alone. Knowing about health anxiety helps me understand what might be happening going forward, if I feel ill again and fear starts to lurk.

I got back to drawing and painting around this time – something I enjoyed on and off for years - and learned how helpful art can be for mental health. I'm interested in how art can help express mental health issues directly - such as through visualisation and symbol – but also how any form of creativity can boost mood and clear your mind.

Remembering all too well what a struggle it was to concentrate for long on anything other than my fears, I'd recommend trying short but regular daily art ideas to complete in 15 to 30 minutes.

If I’m feeling tired or distracted, then abstract art, like drawing a pattern, can feel less daunting. But at other times, more traditional, figurative art – like painting a detailed scene from nature – can absorb my mind and stop me overthinking. When I've talked to people about different art styles, they usually agree that abstract art can be more calming and mindful, while figurative is more stimulating.

So far, I'm in a very good place these days. If anxiety starts to resurface, I focus on the positives and creativity, so that the nagging shadow of fear recedes. Thinking about what colours to use or what to paint is something solid to hold on to and an endless treasure trove. It's also become my work, as I now run an online art for wellbeing initiative. That has proved such a fulfilling experience, and feeling purposeful is so important for mental health. Another tip I'd like to share!