“I finally feel positive about my present and future” – Hanna’s story

Hanna has been diagnosed with EUPD (emotionally unstable personality disorder), depression and anxiety over the years. With support from art therapy, her loved ones and Rethink Mental Illness’ Sheffield Crisis House, she has been able to build a joyful life. This year, she will be doing a fundraised skydive for Rethink Mental Illness.

I'm 25 and I've experienced anxiety, depression and emotionally unstable personality disorder (EUPD). I was 15 when I was first diagnosed with anxiety and depression. I didn’t understand what was going on with me, I thought it was normal to feel low and tired constantly. I didn’t realise I was experiencing anxiety or depression, and was kind of shocked when I found out and learnt about these diagnoses.

I felt confused and almost embarrassed about being diagnosed. None of my friends understood or believed what I was going through at the time. They thought I was just bunking off school and watching movies all day, which wasn’t the case at all. I was put on antidepressants. I was doing my GCSEs at the time, but wasn’t able to attend school because of my condition. I managed to slowly go back in after Christmas, managing to complete 8 GCSEs despite experiencing horrendous symptoms.

I've had support from various mental health services and NHS professionals over the past 10 years, ranging from medication to different therapies. I've also had a lot of help and support from my close family and friends, which I'm forever grateful for!

The most helpful support I received over the years would definitely be art therapy and structured clinical management (SCM) group, which I attend weekly.

In art therapy, I get to explore my creativity as well as my past, present and future. I love it as it’s not just a talking based therapy – doing art makes it easier to feel more at ease and speak freely on what’s going on for me at the time. In SCM, I got to learn more about my EUPD diagnosis and how different symptoms can affect my life; how to notice these and potentially solve problems or ways of managing.

I was in crisis last year and ended up going to The Crisis House in Sheffield, where I got help and support from Rethink Mental Illness. They were very supportive and made me feel welcome straight away! The staff were wonderful and did their best to distract me and talk to me in a way that was comforting. I didn't feel judged or unheard. 

A moment I remember from my stay would be that one night, when I was feeling antsy; not myself or comfortable. I chatted to a lovely support worker who calmed me down and she gave me a galaxy projector to fall asleep to at night, which reminded me of being back at home.

As for now, my life is very different. I'm finally in a good place and feel like my mental health isn't ruling my life for once! I finally feel positive about my present and future - I have a routine, go to art therapy, see friends and family often and I volunteer for a St Luke's hospice shop.

I've gained a lot of self-awareness and skills over the years too, from the various help I've managed to access and support from the people close to me. I’ve learnt to be more mindful, not put as much pressure on myself, look out for early warning signs, give myself space to heal and grow. I feel like these skills have been key to learn and put into practice often.

Now that I’m more able, I love to go to cafes with my friends, be more creative, have fun karaoke sessions, do gel nails, bake or cook something together.

I've decided to do a charity skydive for Rethink Mental Illness this year. Mental illness has affected me for the majority of my life and anything I can give back to the support I've been given is a privilege. So choosing a mental health charity to fundraise for was a no brainer.

If Hanna’s story has inspired you, you can sign up to do your own skydive here, or if you want to keep your feet on the group we have run, cycles and hikes to get involved with, just visit our fundraising page: Get Active and Fundraise for Rethink Mental Illness.